Project 5 (Rewrite): Part Eight

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Arnold stands at the top of an apartment building rooftop and looks out.

ANDREA: What are you doing Arnold?

ARNOLD: I’m just getting some fresh air. Do you really think Andrea that there is a better life waiting for me after this one?

ANDREA:Arnold, I have something to tell you.

She pauses

ARNOLD: Every person in this world has their own definition of what love is. What’s yours?

ANDREA: If you’d asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said any man that buys me Gucci shoes, Versace dresses and

Chanel number five. 

ARNOLD: What would you say now?

ANDREA: Now, I don’t know.

ARNOLD: I would say that love is about caring how the person next to you feels. You love things not people

He pauses

ARNOLD: I’ve done pretty much everything you asked of me, even though I didn’t agree with it. I did it, because I thought you were my only friend in this world. I’m not manure and I’m not the crumbs that fall from the table. You don’t work for the big guy, do you?

ANDREA: Arnold I’m sorry

ARNOLD: All the bad luck in my life. Was that you?

ANDREA: I don’t have a choice

ARNOLD: You always have a choice.

Andrea doesn’t respond

ARNOLD: The one person I thought I could trust, turns out to be a phoney.

ANDREA: Arnold. You don’t understand.

ARNOLD: Save it for the next person whose life you intend to destroy. Of all the heartless, cold...

INT. ANDREA'S CONTROL ROOM IN HELL - NIGHT

Andrea’s screen goes blank.

Mr Barnacle bursts into the room.

MR BARNACLE: What is wrong with you?

ANDREA: I guess. It’s just that all the pleasure down here doesn’t seem to bring me happiness. The more I get the emptier I feel.

MR BARNACLE: I’m done with warnings Fiddlestone. I offered you paradise and you threw it back in my face. If you don’t exit by door X you will be forcibly removed

ANDREA: What’s behind door x?

MR BARNACLE: Heat and a lot of it. Don’t worry. The first thousand years are the worst.

ANDREA: You’re not as handsome or as charming as I said you were, Mr Barnacle. You’re just a bitter little man.

MR BARNACLE: Your words come too late Fiddlestone.

Andrea reaches for the controls.

ARNOLD: Keep fighting Arnold. Keep fighting.

Barnacle pushes her away and turns off the controls. 

MR BARNACLE: He can’t hear you anymore. The loser is done and dusted. I’ll see to that.

ANDREA: The gold card is just a big lie. There is no better life down here. I thought I was destroying his life but instead I was destroying mine.

MR BARNACLE: I was almost willing to grant you a final chance. Another shot at paradise.

ANDREA: I’d rather burn in hell.

Andrea hesitates as she approaches the door marked x. She opens it and enters.

INT. BOILER ROOM IN HELL - DAY

Andrea enters a large room with a grid for a floor. Andrea hears the sound of an ENGINE CRANKING UP. Fire spreads up from a low depth beneath the grid. Andrea braces herself. 

INT. OFFICE OF MR PEABODY - DAY

Andrea sits opposite Mr Peabody.

MR PEABODY: Andrea, I’m under instruction from the big guy to offer you a third chance. Please follow me.

Andrea smiles out of relief.

ANDREA: I’m beginning to see you in a new light, Mr Peabody.

FILING ROOM: Mr Peabody stands up and leads Andrea into the filing room. 

ANDREA: I’ve never looked forward to filing so much in my entire life.

They stride through the filing room through another door. 

ANDREA’s CONTROL ROOM UPSTAIRS

The room is small and stuffy, with blue walls. Andrea rubs her finger along the desk and looks at the dust on her finger.

ANDREA: I promise, Mr Peabody I won’t complain even if blue isn’t my colour.

MR PEABODY: We don’t have the same rules as down there. You can’t lie, but you can’t spell things out either. You can’t say you work for the big guy. People must make their own choices.

ANDREA: Who doesn’t like fighting for the underdog?

MR PEABODY: We don’t have the same budget that they have downstairs, but you will get to do good deeds for a change. Mould people into better versions of themselves and we’ll get along.

ANDREA: Mr Peabody I could eat you all up.

MR PEABODY: That won’t be necessary.

He pauses

Up here, we play by the rules. No matter how badly you want to - you can’t break them.

ANDREA: I’ll give it my best shot.

INT. ANDREA'S CONTROL ROOM IN HELL - DAY

Mr Barnacle sits down at Andreas desk and her monitor turns on.

MR BARNACLE: I’ll show you, Palmer. It’s time for the death wish. You will wish you were never even born.

Mr Barnacle pulls a big black lever on Andrea’s control panel.

EXT. BENCH IN LOCAL PARK - DAY

Arnold walks through the park. Andrea appears beside him.

ANDREA: Arnold I’m sorry.

Arnold ignores her.

ANDREA: I really don’t blame you for hating me.

ARNOLD: Neither do I. 

He pauses

I suppose you’re going to tell me that you’ve changed.

ANDREA: There’s only so much I can say.

ARNOLD: Well, you’ve said enough.

Arnold sits down on a park bench next to Mr Strasbourg.

MR STRASBOURG: Is everything ok Arnold?

ARNOLD: I’m just having one of those days.

MR STRASBOURG: Arnold if someone was to give you something, anything in the world, what would it be?

ARNOLD: A soulmate in feminine form. Somebody who cares about me as much as I care about her.

MR STRASBOURG: Anything else.

ARNOLD: Sometimes I wish I was more confident. Then I’d be more successful with women and at work.

MR STRASBOURG: In order to earn a lion’s respect a lion tamer must put himself in the cage again and again.

ARNOLD: I don’t want to be eaten by a lion.

MR STRASBOURG: The first few times are the hardest but after a while you and the lion will be best of pals.

ARNOLD: I’m quite attached to my head. I’d like to keep it that way.

MR STRASBOURG: The right woman will come along eventually. I met a woman recently myself and she makes me feel ten years younger.

ARNOLD: I’m happy for you Charles. She must be quite a catch.

MR STRASBOURG: Have you always wanted to work in sales Arnold?

ARNOLD: My first choice has always been to be a writer, but few writers are truly successful

MR STRASBOURG: Maybe you should follow your dreams.

ARNOLD: I don’t want to be broke either, Mr Strasbourg.

MR STRASBOURG: The thing about writing, Arnold is that you can pursue it in your own time. If you have something to say, write it down. Work on it. You just never know.

Mr Strasbourg stands up

MR STRASBOURG: I must be off. I hope this isn’t the final time we shall meet.

ARNOLD: Likewise, Mr Strasbourg

Mr Strasbourg departs. CHARLOTTE approaches and sits down beside him.

CHARLOTTE: 26, female, very attractive, shallow, phoney.

CHARLOTTE: I hope this seat isn’t taken.

ARNOLD: (in a nervous manner) No, no, please do.

CHARLOTTE: Do you work out?

ARNOLD: No, not at all. I mean I should.

CHARLOTTE: I bet you’re really, clever.

ANDREA: What a phoney?

ARNOLD: Please, can you?

CHARLOTTE: What?

ANDREA: Can’t you tell she’s going to use you?

ARNOLD: Can’t you let me have my moment?

CHARLOTTE: Huh?

ARNOLD: I mean, this was just a boring day until you came along.

CHARLOTTE: Like I said, I think you are very clever

ANDREA: Oh, pass the sick bag.

CHARLOTTE: My ex-boyfriend always said I have bony legs. What do you think?

ARNOLD: I think they’re perfect.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, you’re nice too. What a bonus. All my boyfriends were mean.

ARNOLD: Most people think nice is a bad thing.

CHARLOTTE: Not me. The Orchid’s Ball is in a few days time. I always wanted to go. If only I could find two tickets.

ARNOLD: For you, anything.

CHARLOTTE: Would you like to follow me back to my apartment? I can lead the way. Be sure to follow.

Charlotte stands up and starts walking towards the exit.

ANDREA: Can’t you see, she’s messing with your head

ARNOLD: You mean, like you did. Why do you have to ruin my moment. The girl of my dreams shows an interest in me and you want to spoil it. 

ANDREA: Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Arnold follows Charlotte through the park. Charlotte reaches the street. A van pulls up and two masked men grab her. They pull her into the back of the van. The van speeds away. Arnold looks on helplessly.

INTERCUT

EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

Arnold rings Detective Legowski.

ARNOLD: Detective Legowski, a woman has just been kidnapped.

INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT OFFICE

DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: So, you’re going to confess? Kidnapping is a serious offence, Palmer.

ARNOLD: No, not me. A young woman.

DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: I understand perfectly Palmer. Come down to the station and hand yourself in. I’ll make sure you won’t get more than twenty years.

ARNOLD: No Detective, I didn’t do it.

DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: I hear that all the time. I’ll ask the judge to give you 15 years if you come quietly.

ARNOLD: Next thing you know, you’ll offer me a brochure of life on the inside.

Arnold hangs up the phone.

CUT TO:

EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

Arnold shows his frustration by tensing his arms and face. HUCKLEBUCK driving a scrambler motorbike stops in front of him.

HUCKLEBUCK: 17, male, confident, daredevil.

HUCKLEBUCK: Do you want to rescue her man?

ARNOLD: That depends. Will I have to hit someone?

HUCKLEBUCK: More than likely.

ARNOLD: Will there be blood? Pain?

HUCKLEBUCK: You betcha, now climb aboard.

ARNOLD: I hope I don’t lose my teeth after wearing braces for five years.

Reluctantly, Arnold starts to climb aboard.

ARNOLD: Is this safe? Shouldn’t I be wearing safety equipment?

HUCKLEBUCK: Hold on tight

Arnold holds on desperately 

HUCKLEBUCK: Not that tight.

The Scrambler starts to move at a fast pace between traffic as Arnold groans. Eventually the van comes into view.

CUT TO:

EXT. OLD INDUSTRIAL BUILDING IN THE SUBURBS - DAY

The Scrambler comes to a stop as they look at the van (two hundred yards away) entering an old industrial building. 

HUCKLEBUCK: Time to get off now man.

ARNOLD: Aren’t you going to help me?

HUCKLEBUCK: That’ll be a hundred bucks Mister.

Arnold climbs off the bike and opens his wallet

ARNOLD: I only have eighty.

Hucklebuck, grabs the money from Arnold’s wallet.

HUCKLEBUCK: That’ll have to do. Fuel doesn’t come cheap these days.

ARNOLD: Do you expect me to confront them on my own?

HUCKLEBUCK: You expect me to help you? Do you think I’m stupid? I value my life.

Hucklebuck drives away on the scrambler. Arnold ambles his way towards the old abandoned industrial building.

CUT TO:

INT. OLD ABANDONNED INDUSTRIAL BUILDING - DAY

Arnold enters the building. Charlotte sits bound to a chair. Charlotte cries out for help through her gagged mouth. Arnold unties and ungags her. Channon, Ari and Sylvia emerge with guns pointed at Arnold.

Charlotte stands up from the chair

CHANNON: Are you ok darling?

Charlotte saunters over to Channon.

ARNOLD: Darling? You mean, you and this meathead...

CHARLOTTE: Who’s calling who a meathead? Did you think that we had something special? How many guys do I get telling me that they’re the one? They have nothing on my guy.

ARNOLD: (in frustration, looking upwards) For friggin sake?

ANDREA: Told you.

INT. MEDIUM SIZED ROOM IN OLD ABANDONNED BUILDING - DAY

Andrea and Lorazar stand over Arnold. The captive tests the strength of the ropes binding him.

ANDREA: I wish I was a better person. I wish I could save you.

ARNOLD: It’s over. Nothing can save me now.

ANDREA: Lorazar can help you Arnold

ARNOLD: What? By burning the ropes?

LORAZAR: I can burn them right off you.

ARNOLD: Please don’t

LORAZAR: Not even just a little fireball?

ANDREA: You know they’re going to kill you? It’s either kill or be killed.

LORAZAR: I did meet Houdini before. He gave me a few tips.

ARNOLD: Finally, something that could prove useful. What are they?

LORAZAR: I can’t exactly remember. It was about a hundred years ago. It was something like you do this and then you do that and....

ANDREA: Stick to fireballs baby.

ARNOLD: How do you know Lorazar is as flaming useful as you say he is? He did get kicked out for a reason.

ANDREA: Come on baby, show him what you can do

Lorazar gestures as if he is about to throw a fireball against the wall but little more than a puff of smoke leaves his hands.

ANDREA: Come on baby, that was just a warmup.

LORAZAR: I’m better than this. I know I am.

Two more attempts follow with little improvement

ARNOLD: Great. What are we going to do? Smoke them out?

ANDREA: I’m sorry I got you into this Arnold. If it wasn’t for me, you would be leading a normal life.

ARNOLD: What brought you to the restaurant?

ANDREA: I can’t tell you.

ARNOLD: How can I trust someone who is not honest?

ANDREA: You have to take responsibility for your own decisions.

ARNOLD: I suppose you expect me to believe that you’ve been to hell and back.

ANDREA: Well, I’m no angel.

ARNOLD: Tell me everything is going to be alright.

ANDREA: Nobody knows what happens next Arnold. That’s the beauty of life. You could be shot to smithereens, or you could be given a second chance. 

ARNOLD: Right now, being shot to smithereens sounds like the odds-on favourite.

ANDREA: A small-minded man taught me a lot of bad things. Now I know I have to do the opposite of what he told me. 

ARNOLD: It’s not meant to happen for me. Some people get the car, the house, the wife...

ANDREA: What happened to - I only compare myself to those more unfortunate than me? 

ARNOLD: And I thought I was the crumbs that fall from the table. 

ANDREA: Nobody is the crumbs that fall from the table. Nobody is inconsequential. 

ARNOLD: I feel more like a butterfly in the wind. Helpless.

ANDREA: Even butterflies can use all their resources to survive. Winners lose too, sometimes. It’s just that they go down fighting.

Arnold wrestles with his constraints

ARNOLD: It’s impossible

ANDREA: Nothing is impossible. Somebody once told me that I always have a choice