Project 5 (Rewrite): Part Five
INT. HELL, LUXURY SPA - NIGHT
Andrea sits down by the pool next to an attractive but miserable looking man. Both wearing swimwear.
ANDREA: People around here aren’t very talkative.
The man doesn’t respond
ANDREA: Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?
The man turns his head away
ANDREA: My subject is a total schmuck. A loser...
The man stands up.
ANDREA: I’m all up for meaningless passionate...
The man walks away and enters a room with no letter on it.
ANDREA: That’s never happened to me before.
EXT. STREET IN THE CITY CENTRE - NIGHT
Arnold strides down the street in his pink jacket, an orange hat, white and gold flare trousers and golden coloured sandals. Arnold wears eyeliner and big hair.
ARNOLD: I don’t think this is a good idea.
ANDREA: Don’t be so stupid Arnold. Everyone is looking at you.
ARNOLD: That’s what I’m afraid of. These colours don’t even go together.
ANDREA: I know it was pushing the budget a little, but I wish I had gone for the pink feathers.
ARNOLD: Well at least I didn’t go with the backless mini skirt.
ANDREA: Nobody’s threatened to kill you yet Arnold.
ARNOLD: Well, if the clothes don’t do the job, the eyeliner will.
A man with a Mohican hairstyle comes up to Arnold and eyeballs him up close.
MOHICAN: I’ll kill you.
The Mohican then walks away
ARNOLD: Now, I think it’s time to go home.
ANDREA: Don’t worry Arnold, if he was going to kill you, he would have done so already.
Arnold doesn’t say anything but keeps walking.
Andrea spots a nightclub called “The Cloak & Dagger”
ANDREA: Look Arnold, there’s a nightclub and there’s no queue. It even has a sweet name.
ARNOLD: That’s because it’s always in the news. A lot of stabbings happen there.
ANDREA: Come on Arnold, we’ve got to start somewhere.
INT. THE CLOAK AND DAGGER NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT
Arnold is standing by the bar with Andrea
ARNOLD: I don’t like this place.
ANDREA: Trust me Arnold. If you want to find the woman of your dreams this is the place.
ARNOLD: That guy over there looks like he could eat me alive. Even that old lady over there in the skimpy clothing looks terrifying.
ANDREA: You’re just low on confidence. I’m sure if you talked to her nicely, she’d be a real sweetheart
ARNOLD: Thanks, but I draw the line at sixty-five.
A female punk rocker wearing a revealing leather outfit approaches the bar. She makes eye contact with Arnold. The barman leaves a drink on the counter for her. She pays over some money.
FEMALE PUNK ROCKER: Fancy a quick one?
ARNOLD: What?
FEMALE PUNK ROCKER: My husband gets out of prison tomorrow and the kids are with their grandmother. I’d like to celebrate, and you’ll have to do.
ARNOLD: I’m waiting on my girlfriend.
FEMALE PUNK ROCKER: She doesn’t have to know. I won’t tell.
ARNOLD: I guess I’m a monogamist.
FEMALE PUNK ROCKER: I bet I could take her.
ARNOLD: I bet you could.
FEMALE PUNK ROCKER: Like that is it?
Andrea is standing to Arnold’s left.
ANDREA: Arnold, this is your big chance. Don’t blow it.
Arnold turns to Andrea
ARNOLD: (in a low voice)
I set a low bar, but I don’t fancy being six feet under.
The female punk rocker leaves and talks to a powerful man named Herb.
HERB: Six Feet Five inches tall, strong, tight dark hair, beard, wearing a leather jacket, leather pants and biker boots, angry.
Herb approaches with the Female Punk Rocker behind him.
HERB: I hear you’re a snob.
ARNOLD: No sir
HERB: Don’t call me sir.
ARNOLD: Yes sir
HERB: I don’t like you, smart ass.
ANDREA: Arnold, I think now would be a good time for the safety helmet and elbow pads.
HERB: Her husband gets out of prison after three long years, and you treat her like dirt.
ARNOLD: Well, if she’s waited this long, what’s another few hours
HERB: Is my sister not good enough for you?
ARNOLD: No, I think she’s great.
HERB: Are you a nancy boy?
ARNOLD: No sir.
HERB: What is it then?
ARNOLD: I have a girlfriend
HERB: Where is she?
ARNOLD: She’s in the powder room.
HERB: My, aren’t we fancy. I ought to punch your lights out
Herb puts his hand on Arnold’s throat. Arnold looks sideways.
ARNOLD: Hey Marilyn
Herb softens his stance and turns his head. Arnold runs as fast as he can in his golden sandals.
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING AREA - NIGHT
Arnold holds a tissue to a bloody nose in a hospital waiting area.
ARNOLD: I think it’s broken
ANDREA: How was I to know that running in sandals was a health hazard?
ARNOLD: Maybe if I wasn’t being chased by a big brute, I wouldn’t have fallen.
ANDREA: Stick with me and things will work out Arnold.
ARNOLD: I really feel like everything is going against me.
ANDREA: Life is a real hell hole. There is always an easier way.
ARNOLD: Everyone hates me.
ANDREA: If someone hates you, it’s ok to hate them back. It’s the law of the jungle.
ARNOLD: Me? It’s not what I believe. I’m a chicken after all.
ANDREA: Are your goody two shoes beliefs working for you, Arnold?
ARNOLD: Every time it seems to get worse and worse.
ELDERLY MALE HOSPITAL PATIENT: You think, your life is bad. You should try marriage and haemorrhoids. I don’t know which is worse.
ANDREA: You see Arnold. Worse things are ahead of you.
EXT. TOP OF ARNOLDS APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Arnold opens the door to the top of the apartment building and peers out over the edge. Andrea follows him.
ANDREA: This isn’t the first time you’ve come up here at night.
ARNOLD: Maybe there is a better existence waiting for me. I wish my life would just end but I don’t want to be the one to end it. Up here makes me think.
ANDREA: Sometimes there’s no shame in conceding defeat Arnold. You can’t watch Spongebob re-runs for the rest of your life.
ARNOLD: I’ve learned a lot of valuable life lessons from Spongebob.
ANDREA: Open your eyes. Things aren’t exactly going your way.
ARNOLD: Sometimes I wonder whose side you are on. It’s as if you...
ANDREA: Didn’t I help save you from the contract killer?
ARNOLD: Maybe it’s just me, but you seem...
ANDREA: One day you’re going to have to realise that you are the crumbs from the chef’s table that get stamped on and eaten by rats. In this world you are inconsequential.
ARNOLD: What if it’s a fancy restaurant, with great hygiene and where they use every crumb, and nothing is spared.
ANDREA: You don’t get to be a crumb in a fancy restaurant Arnold.
ARNOLD: Why not?
ANDREA: You trust everyone else like a fool, but you don’t trust me. I’m the only one looking out for your interests.
Everyone else is using you.
ARNOLD: It feels like you don’t want me to be happy.
ANDREA: I brought you shopping and this is how you repay me?
ARNOLD: Sometimes you just seem... cold, like you don’t have a heart.
ANDREA: What’s your dream girl, Arnold?
ARNOLD: Someone who isn’t the mistress of a mob boss. Someone who is kind-hearted.
ANDREA: Anything else?
ARNOLD: Someone who respects me just like anyone else.
ANDREA: Maybe you should throw a party Arnold and see how many friends you have then. Invite everyone you know. Your dream girl will show up and you won’t criticise me again.
ARNOLD: Would anyone show up?
ANDREA: Come on Arnold. It’s not like anything is going to go wrong, is it? How unlucky can one man be?
INT. ANDREA'S CONTROL ROOM IN HELL
Andrea looks at her monitor and puts one arm on her lever of misfortune and pulls it.
ANDREA: Let’s see if you can handle this, Palmer.
INT. HELL, LUXURY SPA - NIGHT
Andrea wearing a bikini - strides out from the S room. A good looking man wearing a towel follows her.
176: You leave me now? Why not spend the rest of the night together.
ANDREA: Tomorrow 176.
Andrea turns her back on 176. LORAZAR sits by the pool - fully clothed in a black shirt, long coat and trousers.
LORAZAR: 30’s, attractive, miserable, haunted.
ANDREA: What’s your life story?
LORAZAR: I’d rather not Andrea Fiddlestone
ANDREA: You know me?
LORAZAR: Some of the new ones start with a smile on their face, a pep in their step. Then, this place gets under their skin and into their heads.
ANDREA: You’re a real downer. Maybe I will go back and have hot meaningless...
LORAZAR: You do that and see where it takes you.
ANDREA: In all my time here, nobody told me I can’t do this, or I can’t do that. I don’t know whether to find you positively dull... or interesting.
LORAZAR: There are consequences to every action whether you see them or not.
Andrea climbs to her feet and walks away.
INT. ARNOLDS APARTMENT - NIGHT
BEDROOM: Arnold wakes to the sound of Andrea shouting in his ear at the top of her voice.
ANDREA: Arnold, Arnold...
ARNOLD: What is it?
ANDREA: The serial killer is here. He’s making his way into the apartment.
Arnold reaches for his trousers, a jumper and his runners. He goes to the bedroom door and listens. He hears the killer entering the apartment. The doorknob to Arnold’s room turns.
The door opens. A gun emerges from the open doorway. The salesman slams the door back. The killer stubs his toe and hurts his hand. The assassin drops the gun. Arnold pushes the killer over. He strides over the gunman’s fallen body.
LIVING AREA: Arnold rushes out the apartment door.
STAIRWELL TO ARNOLDS APARTMENT BLOCK
Arnold ascends four flights of stairs. He stops to listen. The gunman follows him. Arnold continues climbing. Arnold barges out the door that leads to the rooftop.
EXT. ARNOLDS’S APARTMENT BLOCK, ROOFTOP - NIGHT
Arnold jumps across to another rooftop. He barely clears the gap between the buildings.
EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOPS - NIGHT
He runs to the end of the next building and has a look. Again he runs and jumps but clatters into the top of the next building. His hands manage to grip the top of the wall.
Arnold struggles his way to the top of the building. The gunman shoots at him but misses.
The edge of the building has a wall that is two feet high. The accountant propels his body onto the far side of the wall for cover. The serial killer stops shooting. Arnold is out of breath.
Ormando backs up and makes a running jump to reach the third building. The killer almost misses the ledge and holds on with great difficulty. Ormando lifts his head over the top of the wall.
Arnold peers over the wall. Ormando hangs on to the edge of the building.
ANDREA: Finish him.
PHANTOM KILLER/ORMANDO: Help me.
ARNOLD: Do you promise not to kill me?
PHANTOM KILLER/ORMANDO: Yes
ARNOLD: Pinky swear?
ANDREA: He will kill you.
PHANTOM KILLER/ORMANDO: Yes
ARNOLD: Oh well. Ok.
Arnold extends his hand to Ormando, but the killer loses his grip and falls to the ground.
The salesman makes his way to the rooftop doorway and finds it to be open. Arnold descends the stairs.
EXT. STREET NEAR ARNOLDS APARTMENT - NIGHT
Arnold exits the building at ground level and crosses the street. Emergency services arrive on the scene.
INT. POLICE CAR OUTSIDE ARNOLDS APARTMENT (STATIONARY) - NIGHT
The police and ambulance sirens wake Detective Legowski up. He turns his neck around to see what is going on.
INT. ANDREA’S CONTROL ROOM IN HELL - NIGHT
Mr Barnacle enters Andrea’s control room. Andrea has finished eating.
MR BARNACLE: How is the food, Project 977
ANDREA: To die for.
MR BARNACLE: You still haven’t broken him.
ANDREA: I will. Soon.
MR BARNACLE: You could have left him to die.
ANDREA: I thought you wanted him to see the dark. I figure it’s ultimately my job to demoralise him. He’s not there yet but now he trusts me completely.
MR BARNACLE: I did say you’ve got potential.
Andrea picks up a book from the counter in front of her.
ANDREA: I’ve also been reading your book. I like the chapter on comparison. I figure if I compare him to other guys, he knows it’s bound to demoralise him.
MR BARNACLE: Keep up the bad work and you might be in line for gold membership.
ANDREA: What is gold membership?
MR BARNACLE: All you need to know is that its better than anything you could possibly imagine.
INT. MOYEN STASBOURG'S RESIDENCE (OFFICE) - MORNING
Sylvia, Channon & Ari, enter Moyen’s office. Moyen Is seated behind her desk wearing glasses.
MOYEN STRASBOURG: This better be good. You know we shouldn’t be seen together. Is Palmer dead?
CHANNON: No. Your contract killer fell off a roof last night. They’re scraping him off the sidewalk as we speak
MOYEN STRASBOURG: Well, at least I don’t have to pay him. Palmer must be more resourceful than I thought.
CHANNON: Either that, or he’s just lucky.
MOYEN STRASBOURG: What now?
CHANNON: I’ve heard of a female assassin who never fails. She’s supposed to be the best.
MOYEN STRASBOURG: I thought the Phantom was the best.
CHANNON: She is the best of the best.
MOYEN STRASBOURG: Where have I heard this before? More importantly, how much does she charge?