One Small Change: Part One
INT. PUBLIC PARK - THURSDAY MORNING
An attractive young man and an attractive young woman are kissing in a public park. The camera then focuses on an old man sitting on a park bench
Old man: 64, five feet nine inches tall, slim, white hair and a white beard, Well dressed with a blue suit and white shirt, holding a walking stick with his two hands.
NARRATOR (OLD MAN): Young love. Soon they will probably be married. For how long? Nobody knows. I can talk a lot about what doesn’t work. I’m working on marriage number four myself. A good marriage is like a good government. It requires committment, compromise and openess. For a marriage to be happy, it requires love. And here is the subject of our film. Josh Unsworth. 36 years old, married for eight years to a kind and beautiful wife and he struggles to smile. Now you will find out why?
The camera focuses on Josh Unsworth walking through the park with a cup of coffee in his hand.
JOSH UNSWORTH: 36, Five Feet Eight inches tall, brown hair, blue eyes, Medium Build, clean shaven
INT. MAIN OFFICE OF SELLARS & CO - THURSDAY MORNING
Josh walks into his workplace while sipping from a cup of cola and holding a briefcase in his right hand
EDDIE CARSON: 33, Five Feet Five Inches tall, black hair, light beard, brown eyes, one stone overweight.
EDDIE: Josh, what are you doing? You know how Mr Sellars doesn’t like us being late for meetings
JOSH: Relax, it’s only 8:50am
EDDIE: Your watch must have stopped. It’s 9:01
JOSH: Uh oh
INT. BOARDROOM OF SELLARS & CO - THURSDAY MORNING
Josh hurries into the boardroom with Eddie to the staff meeting
MR SELLARS: 38, Thinning red hair, blue eyes, Five Feet eleven inches, clean shave, slim.
MR SELLARS: The both of you are late. I’m deducting an hours pay from both of your salaries
Both of them respond “Sorry boss”
MR SELLARS : For the past five minutes, I’ve been telling your co-workers about a new client seeking to advertise their product effectively through our animation studio with a three minute slot. Team blue will expand on my own idea. Man drinks coffee, man has wife and child by his side and man is content with life. Team green will expand on another idea of mine. I want to show infinite space, a car that can turn into a spaceship and a cup of coffee. Our deadline is in two weeks. And remember team green, you’re on a losing streak. I want to see some improvements or your jobs are on the line. Team blue always arrive on time and do an excellent job. Team green don’t. I am also transferring Frida from team blue to team green and Carter will be replacing her. Has anybody any questions? No stupid ones this time. I hate stupid questions but good ones are tolerable.
Mr Sellars waits for a few seconds
MR SELLARS : Ok, then that concludes the meeting. Take two minutes to get better acquainted with your new teams, but I want to see some hard work. That means late nights and no partying. You know that I hate partying.
Mr Sellars leaves.
Frida approaches Josh
FRIDA: Josh I’ve been admiring your work from afar (in a seductive voice). It’s great to finally get the opportunity to work under you.
Josh clears throat
JOSH: So Frida, you’ve been with team blue for six months now. In terms of the team, what would would you say are your most important attributes
FRIDA: Well Josh I’ve got plenty of assets
JOSH: I guess what I meant to say, was: what is it that you enjoy doing the most? I mean Alvin and Marko are great animators and Carter was an idea’s man
FRIDA: Well I guess you could say I bring a lot of enthusiasm to the role. I like to grind things out.
INT. MAIN OFFICE OF SELLARS & CO - THURSDAY MORNING
Eddie and Josh talking
EDDIE: I envy you man. Two beautiful women practically fighting over you, and you still look unhappy. If Carolyn isn’t putting a smile on your face every morning, Frida definitely will
JOSH: I’m Married Eddie.
EDDIE: You’re like a form of masochist. You look miserable most of the time. If that was me, I’d be jumping right in there. At least put in a recommendation for me with one of them, will you? I’ve been a loyal friend for years, I would give my right arm for a night out with one of those women.
JOSH: Come on Eddie, what about your loyalty to Cheryl, the woman you’ve been dating for three years
EDDIE: Loyalty hasn’t done you any favours. You make Churchill look like he’s high as a kite.
INT. BOARDROOM OF SELLARS & CO - THURSDAY MORNING
There is a team meeting at which team members, Alvin, Marko, Frida, Eddie and Josh are present
ALVIN: What are we going to do now? I have a mortgage to pay and a family to feed. We’ve lost Carter who was the brains in the group and we were on a lousy losing streak anyway. No offence Frida. I forgot to take my Valium
EDDIE: Cars that turn into spaceships have nothing to do with coffee. There not even on the same planet. No pun intended. Why do we always get the daft pitches.
JOSH: We’ll think of something
EXT. AT A TABLE OUTSIDE BRUNOS CAFE - THURSDAY AFTERNOON
Veronica and Carolyn are both seated at a table outside Bruno’s Cafe
CAROLYN: Blonde shoulder length hair, Blue Eyes, 34, Five Feet Seven inches, slim, attractive.
VERONICA: Dark hair, 38, average build, well groomed, brown eyes, Five feet six inches, well dressed.
VERONICA: It’s great to see you
CAROLYN: Likewise
VERONICA: It must be eighteen months
CAROLYN: Nineteen
VERONICA: I guess time flies when your stuck on the French Riviera for most of that time.
CAROLYN: Poor you
VERONICA: You always were my favorite cousin. Convincing empathy. So tell us, have you been anywhere exciting.
CAROLYN: Josh says we can’t afford it. I haven’t been more than fifty miles from home at any point in the last two years. We don’t even have kids. We both work and we don’t go anywhere.
VERONICA: Josh is a lovely guy. There must be a reason
CAROLYN: Sometimes I suspect he’s having an affair. He works late a lot. He must be spending his money on something.
VERONICA: So who do you think he’s banging? Josh of all people?
CAROLYN: Frida? I don’t know. She’s so perfect and young and I think she likes him.
VERONICA: Frida? The one with the crooked nose?
CAROLYN: Stop it. There isn’t an imperfect part of her body
VERONICA: Post op or pre op? I don’t know Carolyn. Maybe you need some kind of injection into both of your lives. I think I know just the man to solve your problems. He’s a counsellor of sorts. Part Witch Doctor, part counsellor.
CAROLYN: Witch Doctor? Seriously?
VERONICA: Here’s his card. I’ve never heard a complaint and most of his clients give rave reviews.
Carolyn takes the card. It reads: Spice up your life with Doctor Guru. Call 555- 777777
CAROLYN: Most? What happened to the other 49%?
VERONICA: Give it a try and bring Josh
CAROLYN: So how is Edgar?
VERONICA: As you know, we both retired young with a bit of a nest egg. Sometimes when you spend that much time in each others company we feel like tearing each others hair out but there are also times when I love him to bits.
CAROLYN: I envy you
VERONICA: Your life probably isn’t as bad as you think it is. Visit that guru. You might be surprised.
INT. JOSH & CAROLYN’S HOME KITCHEN - THURSDAY NIGHT
Josh enters the house at 8pm. Carolyn is sitting at the kitchen table reading a magazine
JOSH: Hi
CAROLYN: Hi? Josh your dinners cold. Where have you been?
JOSH: I was working late I guess. Sorry
CAROLYN: It’s not just the dinner and the late nights Josh. There’s very little in our bank account. You earn a good salary and I work. Where is the money going Josh?
JOSH: Maybe we don’t make enough
CAROLYN: And the peanut butter? I texted you to bring home some peanut butter. Did you even remember that?
JOSH: I’m sorry I forgot the peanut butter Carolyn. I was distracted by the work I guess
CAROLYN: You have such a nice boss. I’m sure if you listened to him he would tell you to not work those hours Josh. I don’t buy it. I don’t buy that your boss is asking you to work these long hours. I don’t buy that he’s putting a gun to your head to do it. There comes a point when you should put your life first. Well?
JOSH: I’m sorry Carolyn about the peanut butter and everything?
CAROLYN: Screw the Peanut Butter Josh. There is something going on and you’re not being honest about it. Is there something I should know?
JOSH: No. I guess I have no excuse.
CAROLYN: We don’t have much of a life Josh. We don’t have kids. We don’t have money and we don’t go on holidays. Even the weekends are a disappointment. I used to look forward to the weekend. Everyone I know looks forward to the weekend except me. This isn’t what I signed up for. I’m still in my prime. At least I’d like to think so and it looks to me as if I’ve been cut a raw deal. What is going on Josh?
JOSH: I don’t know. I’m going to the store to get your peanut butter. I don’t feel hungry anymore.
Josh leaves
INT. INSIDE PORSCHE 911 - FOUR MONTHS EARLIER (MORNING)
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE - Six foot tall, dark hair, sunglasses, cream shirt, blue jeans and cowboy boots, chews gum a lot
Lance Crusoe drives his 1982 Porsche 911 down the street at speed. He comes to a halt near multiple police cars positioned outside a bank. Five police cars and multiple officers were positioned in the middle of the street, each about twenty yards away from the bank entrance.
EXT. OUTSIDE PANAM BANK ON WASHINGTON STREET - MORNING
Detective Crusoe approaches the officer in charge.
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE: What is going down here Tarbuck?
CAPTAIN TARBUCK: We’ve got a hostage situation here Detective. This is something that we can handle on our own. There is no need for a man such as you, with your track record to get involved.
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE: How many gunmen?
CAPTAIN TARBUCK: Like I said Detective, this is something we can handle.
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE: In other words Captain you don’t know.
Detective Crusoe proceeds to calmly walk towards the bank entrance.
CAPTAIN TARBUCK: Don’t go in there Crusoe, that is an order.
Detective Crusoe keeps walking and enters the building.
INT. INSIDE PANAM BANK - MORNING
Once inside he can see at least two bank robbers. One of them is behind the counter and the other is holding a terrified woman with a gun to her head. There are three other bank employees seated on the floor.
BANK ROBBER NO 1: Five feet nine inches tall, wearing tights on his head, 29
BANK ROBBER NO 1: (Holding gun to woman’s head) We didn’t ask for no negotiator
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE: (Aproaches Bank Robber no 1) I’m not a negotiator
BANK ROBBER NO 1: Stand back or I’ll shoot
Detective Crusoe continues walking towards the armed man slowly and calmly.
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE: You wouldn’t want to do that now would you?
BANK ROBBER NO 1: Why is that?
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE: (Stops two feet away) A guy in your position cannot win in this situation. You either get shot and killed or you survive and spend forty years in a Federal prison with a six foot six inch homosexual named Bubba. You don’t want to die now do you?
BANK ROBBER NO 1: Come any closer and I’ll blow both your brains out. This is an Alverto handgun and can fire twenty bullets in ten seconds.
Calmly Detective Crusoe comes closer. The bank robber turns his gun on the Police Detective but the gun jams. Crusoe punches him on the chin. The other bank robber reaches for his gun but Detective Crusoe shoots him in the arm, causing him to fall backwards behind the counter.
EXT. OUTSIDE PANAM BANK ON WASHINGTON STREET - MORNING
Armed police enter while Detective Crusoe walks out of the bank.
YOUNG POLICE OFFICER: That was impressive Detective Crusoe. How did you know he wasn’t going to shoot you or the hostage.
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE: He was using an Alverto handgun. I got three for $9.99 In Cheapomart. The damn gun jams all the time.
CAPTAIN TARBUCK: Crusoe that was one of the dumbest most reckless things I’ve ever seen a police officer do. You are a disgrace to the badge. I’m suspending you until further notice.
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE: With or without pay?
CAPTAIN TARBUCK: Without it, if I have my own way.
DETECTIVE LANCE CRUSOE: Bummer
INT. OFFICE OF THE RELATIONSHIP GURU - FRIDAY EVENING
SAMMY GURU: Indian Origin, 42, Five Feet Six Inches, Average build, Wears Hawaiian Shirt and chinos
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: My name is Sammy Guru. I’m glad both of you could make it. Over the next half an hour I hope we can make some good progress
JOSH: Well to be honest I’d rather not be here. I’m only doing it because Carolyn threatened to stand on my toes with her high heels if I didn’t. You have thirty minutes to prove that this isn’t a total waste of my time.
CAROLYN: Josh that’s not true. I wasn’t wearing high heels at the time. You know that.
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: OK, so if I could start with you, Carolyn. What are the main reasons that you’ve come here today?
CAROLYN: Well for a start Josh works late all the time. Even sometimes at weekends. There isn’t much time we spend together in a happy and relaxed environment. We were trying to have kids but I’m not even sure I’d want to bring them into this environment. We have next to no money.
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: Did I hear you correctly? You have no money? How do you intend to pay me?
JOSH:How much are you charging?
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: My rates are 200 dollars for a session and a 2,000 dollar bonus for a satisfied customer.
JOSH: And if we’re really, really unsatisfied do we get our money back?
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: Unfortunately, there are no discounts
JOSH: Are your clients ever satisfied?
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: Most of them
JOSH: Is Guru your real name or is that just a made up name that you took to make yourself sound good?
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: So Josh, do you want to respond to Carolyn’s opening statement or do you have any quibbles of your own?
JOSH: I do work late. We don’t have any money and it’s all my fault.
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: Ok Josh. And would you like to add to that?
JOSH: Carolyn doesn’t make very much money as a hairdresser. She could change job. Hairdressing can’t be all that complicated. If she wants us not to be broke she could consider a new career.
CAROLYN: How dare you. I pay my own way. I don’t earn as much as you. Maybe you should try standing on your two feet all day and see how difficult it can be.
JOSH: All I’m saying is that there are other ways to earn a living.
CAROLYN: If I worked in your job I’d probably be asleep at my desk most of the day. It’s so boring
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: Josh is there anything else that you would like to add?
JOSH:I think she could get rid of that infernal dog
CAROLYN: Milo, is the main reason I have for living. I look forward to our walks. He brings me far more enjoyment than you do.
JOSH: Do you know how much money we spend on that stupid dog?
CAROLYN: It’s probably two percent of your salary
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: $2,000 dollars. The average dog costs, €2,000 dollars to maintain.
JOSH: Well our mutt is not average. He costs $10,000 dollars to maintain and Carolyn only earns $9,999 after tax and she wonders why we’re broke
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: OK, I see we have a few issues. Carolyn is there anything further you would like to say.
CAROLYN: I think Josh has said enough
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: What about relatives and friends how do you feel about them? Have they been supportive?
JOSH: Yes Carolyn, he’s costing $200 a session. You may as well get your money’s worth.
CAROLYN: I don’t have any issues with any of Josh’s friends or relatives because they are hardly ever there, because Josh is hardly ever there.
JOSH: That’s an ugly tie, Sammy. How much did that set you back?
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: I got it in Walmart.
CAROLYN: Josh doesn’t get on with my Mother. She thinks I should have married Eric Ross who went on to become a multi millionaire.
JOSH: That’s not the only reason I don’t like her.
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: So why did you choose Josh over Eric?
CAROLYN: Well. At the time Josh was better looking. Since then he’s put on a few pounds and lost hair and Duncan has had some work done. Josh also used to have a sense of humour and be more affectionate but he’s not like that very often now.
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: And why did you marry Carolyn, Josh?
JOSH: I really don’t know. It’s kind of like, you see something in a shop window and you like it but when you own it you question why you bought it in the first place.
CAROLYN: Well done, Josh you really know how to cheer a girl up.
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: It seems to me that we have an extreme case here. I think this calls for what I call the “love potion”. It works on most couples. It will require both of you to consume a liquid substance at the same time. I’ll admit it doesn’t taste too good. The love potion works most of the time and costs $400 dollars. After two weeks you can come back here and explain the results to us and we can take it from there.
JOSH: Let me guess, this second session costs another $200. What’s in the love potion? Arsenic? Cyanide? Will I get tufts of hair in all sorts of unusual places? Will my skin start to fall off? Should we make a will beforehand, bequeathing all our possessions to Sammy Guru?
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: In terms of side effects, I wouldn’t want to worry you, so let’s not go there. A follow up session after the love potion cost $500 with normally a satisfaction bonus on top of that.
Josh was speechless
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: Carolyn do you intend to pursue the love potion option?
CAROLYN: Well, Veronica did highly recommend you Mr Guru. Even if Josh doesn’t want to pay for it I could get a loan from my Mother.
JOSH: There’s no need for your Mother to get involved. If it doesn’t work, we’re not coming back here. We’re emigrating.
Sammy handed over the two vials of potion in exchange for Josh’s credit card.
DOCTOR SAMMY GURU: Now remember you should both take it at the same time tonight before you go to bed.