Awoken By A Ghost Part Seven
INT. CHARLOTTE’S APARTMENT BEDROOM - EVENING
CHARLOTTE
: So what do you want from me?
ARNOLD: I do need to lie low for a couple of days. I think that Mr Big wants to kill me. He probably put a bounty on my head.
CHARLOTTE: You? What would Mr Big want with you?
ARNOLD: I think he thinks I know more about Andrea’s murder and the murder of a number of his employees.
CHARLOTTE: And do you?
ARNOLD: I know something but all I can say is that I had nothing to do with any of the murders. I still haven’t resolved Andrea’s murder. Someone pushed her off the top of a building.
CHARLOTTE: So, spill the bean’s who killed Boggy’s men?
ARNOLD: Well, I’d rather not say.
CHARLOTTE: Do you want a place to stay or don’t you?
ARNOLD: The Phantom Killer murdered the first two. His name is Ormando something or other, but he fell off the side of a building pursuing me. The men who were murdered a few nights ago were killed by the League of the Red Brotherhood. They are a vigilante organisation. I don’t know much more than that.
CHARLOTTE: Wow, that’s a lot of information. And here was me thinking you were a cold-blooded assassin.
BIG TONY: (Big Tony knocks on the door)
Mr Big is here to see you, Miss Charlotte
CHARLOTTE: Tell him I’ll be there in a minute, I’m just getting dressed.
(Big Tony leaves)
You’d better hide in the closet.
In the closet there are a number of dresses and other items hanging up as well as a number of shoes and childrens toys on the ground.
CHARLOTTE: Don’t worry this won’t take long.
Arnold is in an uncomfortable position. After five minutes, the mob boss and Charlotte, enter the bedroom. The couple climb into bed and started to have sex.
Twenty seconds later, Arnold can hear Charlotte speak.
CHARLOTTE: Ooh Biggie, forty seconds. That must be a new record.
MR BIG
Well if you tell anyone about this it was more like forty minutes.
CHARLOTTE: Why yes of course Biggie. You can rely on me.
After a short pause Charlotte speaks again
CHARLOTTE: So did you catch those killers yet Biggie?
MR BIG: It was one guy and his gang. He’s masquerading as an accountant. Just wait till I get my hands on him. I’ll crush his head until it’s dust in my hands. He even killed my favourite employee, Gobby.
CHARLOTTE: I heard that the word on the street is that it was the phantom killer that killed those men in the alleyway and that it was a crowd of vigilantes that broke into your house.
MR BIG: Don’t talk nonsense. I know it was that vicious accountant. Wait till I get my hands on him.
Arnold leans on one of the toys in the closet and one of the doors of the closet opens slightly.
MR BIG
What was that?
CHARLOTTE: Oh, that was probably my puppy, Esmeralda.
Arnold picks up the toy and tosses it out of the gap between the closet doors.
CHARLOTTE: See
MR BIG: Anyway, I’d better get dressed. Your toys are freaking me out. What will they be able to do next?
The mob boss leaves
CHARLOTTE: So what else are you looking for other than a place to stay?
ARNOLD: Nothing really. I can investigate Andrea’s murder on my own.
CHARLOTTE: How much are you going to pay me for a safe place to stay? Boggy won’t be back for another week or so. For the next few days this place is as safe as they come.
ARNOLD: All I have on me is twenty three bucks and some small change.
CHARLOTTE: That’ll do. You can give me the remaining two grand by Thursday.
ARNOLD: Two grand? I’m still paying for the hotel bill you sunk me with.
CHARLOTTE: Well, for the hotel gig you had the night of your life. Am I right?”
(Arnold thinks about it for a moment)
Two grand, cash or no deal.
ARNOLD: Alright
CHARLOTTE: Good. Now you can share a room with Big Tony.
INT APARTMENT ON RIGODER AVENUE (TONY’S ROOM) - NIGHT
One night as Big Tony snores, Andrea speaks to him.
ANDREA: Arnold, I think I’ve found someone else who can help you. She doesn’t breath fire and she’s a ghost like me. Her name is Millie.
Another ghost appears next to Andrea. She has blond hair, blue eyes and wears a pink dress.
ARNOLD: What can she do?
ANDREA: Well if she wants, people can see her.
ARNOLD: She doesn’t look very intimidating or scary.
ANDREA: Ok Millie, show him what you can do
Millie floats around the room in a majestic manner, that is more beautiful than terrifying.
ARNOLD: She’s like the Doris Day of ghosts. No offence, but she is the least intimidating ghost anywhere in the universe. There must be someone else you can find.
MILLIE: You are a horrible horrible man and I wouldn’t help you if you asked me to.
Millie disappears
EXT. STREET NEAR ARNOLDS WORKPLACE - EVENING
Three days later Arnold is walking down the street in the direction of his apartment building. Andrea appears to him.
ANDREA: Arnold, there’s a guy following you a lot lately. I don’t think he’s one of Mr Big’s men. I also don’t think he’s a cop.
ARNOLD: What does he look like?
ANDREA: Bald, medium height, medium build, wearing a beige jacket with a zipper, blue jeans and a white and red checkered shirt.
Calmly, Arnold stops walking a few dozen yards from his apartment. Slowly he looks around 180 degrees. He can see a man fitting Andrea’s description, looking at a shop window for bridal dresses about fifty yards behind him.
ARNOLD: Can you follow him?
ANDREA: Generally speaking I can’t go one hundred yards distance away from you.
ARNOLD: Maybe he’s reporting to someone. Maybe you can listen in on the conversation.
ANDREA: Maybe there’s a hired hand waiting for you inside your apartment.
ARNOLD: I can take my chances. The best you can do now is find out who the guy is.
Andrea disappears and Arnold proceeds to his apartment
INT. ARNOLDS APATMENT MAIN LIVING AREA - EVENING
Arnold opens the door of the apartment where he sees Frederick standing over his laptop.
FREDERICK: I’ve been worried about you Arnold. Arnold the world is about to end in seven days and you go ahead and disappear on me
ARNOLD: What do you mean the world is about to end?
FREDERICK: It says so here on the internet. It quotes a famous South American tribe that predict the world is coming to an end in seven days. It even has a dooms day clock. Look. Six days, twenty two hours, forty six minutes and thirteen seconds.
ARNOLD: Frederick, please don’t believe everything you look at on the internet. Nobody can see into the future.
FREDERICK: Arnold don’t be so pigheaded. Open your eyes. This means I have less than seven days to bed Aspa Lavista. She’s the girl of my dreams. If I’m going out, I’m going out with a bang.
Frederick shows Arnold a picture of a very attractive female centrefold
ARNOLD: While I don’t want to burst your bubble or anything, Frederick, you may have intense competition. Besides that may not be her real name.
FREDERICK: That’s never stopped me before.
There is a knock on the door.
FREDERICK: If that’s your mother Arnold, I’m not in.
The flatmate disappears quickly into his room with his laptop.
ARNOLD: Who is it?
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: It’s Mumzy
Arnold unlocks the door and his mother greets him with a hug and a kiss.
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: How is my sonny wunny? Have you been looking after yourself.
ARNOLD: Yes Mom.
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: Look at the state of this place. How many cups do you need at the one time?
On the coffee table are four cups in various states of cleanliness.
ARNOLD: Five?
(Hoping it was an acceptable answer)
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: That stain wasn’t there the last time I was here
(Referring to a stain on the sofa)
Who did that?
ARNOLD: Frederick. It must have been Frederick
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: Wait until I get my hands on him. Is he here?
ARNOLD: No, he just popped out.
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: That’s funny. I thought I could hear music coming from his room. It sounds like Megadeth or Metalica or one of them bands that drives me bonkers. So how are you son?
ARNOLD: Fine
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: You don’t look fine son. You look like you’ve put on a bit of weight. You’re probably not eating the right foods. You should visit more often.
ARNOLD: I’ve actually lost a few pounds.
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: See. I told you. You should eat more and don’t starve yourself. You’re never going to be Bruce Lee. Do you want a cup of tea Arnold?
ARNOLD: I wouldn’t mind.
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: Well go make it yourself. Go on. I’m not your hired help.
Arnold fills up the kettle and turns it on
ARNOLD: Why are you here Mom?
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: I don’t need a special reason to visit my sonny wunny now do I?
She pauses for a moment
Your Father was a little upset about you meeting him at the station and all. Can’t you go easy on him?
ARNOLD: I didn’t say much. I just think he has to know the difference between right and wrong and reality and paranoia.
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: Can’t you humour him? It doesn’t do very much for his self esteem?
Arnold sighs
ARNOLD: Oh, ok. But I do think it’s the wrong approach.
ARNOLD’S MOTHER: I hear you. But he is your Father and he did do a good job of raising you. Now where’s my tea?
Arnold’s Mother leaves and Andrea reappears
ANDREA: Arnold, I’m worried. This guy that’s been following you. He was reporting to someone. It wasn’t Mr Big. But he didn’t sound like a nice guy. I think he’s planning on abducting you. Just not now.
ARNOLD: Great, just great. As if I don’t have enough problems. Did you find out anything else?
ANDREA: Not really. They didn’t even call themselves by their real names. They used code names like Rubber Ducky and Big Dom. I really think this could be the real killer.
ARNOLD: Anything else?
ANDREA: They were discussing various torture methods.
ARNOLD: Lovely
ANDREA: It sounded like it was just for sport and weren’t looking for information.
ARNOLD: Even better
There is a knock at Arnold’s apartment door.
DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: Mr Palmer, open this door.
Arnold opens the door.
DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: I’ve had enough with your contempt for Law and Order Mr Palmer.If you won’t come down to the station the station must come down to you.
ARNOLD: Detective Legowski, there was a man following me this evening.
DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: That was Fast Eddie. He’s been trailing you since you left work. He lost you at Cosmo’s Candy Store. Can’t say I blame him. They have the nicest chocolate this side of the Mississippi.
ARNOLD: No Detective Legowski. I wasn’t referring to the Police officer. I was referring to a man that wasn’t a police officer following me.
DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: Well I can look into it. What did he look like?
ARNOLD: Bald, medium height, medium build, wearing a beige jacket with a zipper, blue jeans and a white and red checkered shirt.
DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: Well, that’s a vague description. Tomorrow he could be wearing a dress, a wig and high heels and nobody would know the difference. Anyway down to serious matters. Where were you on Sunday evening?
ARNOLD: I was here, but then one of Mr Big’s men abducted me. They brought me to his house and were about to torture me when some vigilantes eliminated most of Mr Big’s men.
DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: Is that it? That’s the worst cock and bull story I’ve heard in my life and I’ve heard some pretty lousy ones. I have a nose for bullshit and right now you’re about a hundred and one grade A. Why, I ought to throw the book at you. You’re just lucky that the Captain is all soft over you. You think your smart with this little sweet innocent timid accountant lark but I can see right through you. Nothing gets past the Legowskinator. Every breath you take. Every move you make. I’ll be watching you.
(gesturing with his fingers)
ARNOLD: Isn’t that a song, Detective?
DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: No its not. It came from the Legowskinator and there’s a hundred more lines like em
As he turns to leave the apartment Detective Legowski struggles to open the door in order to let himself out.
ARNOLD: Let me help you there Detective.
DETECTIVE LEGOWSKI: Soon it will be you begging me for help Palmer.
INT. ARNOLDS BEDROOM - NIGHT
The clock reads 2:42am as Arnold climbs out of bed and gets dressed. He opens the bedroom door and makes his way towards the main apartment door.
ANDREA: What are you doing?
ARNOLD: I’m fed up waiting around for someone to kill me. I’m making a run for it.
ANDREA: You can’t run away, You’re this close to catching my killer. We had a deal.
ARNOLD: This is also my life we’re talking about or what’s left of it. I know you don’t care about how long and enjoyable my life could be, but I do.
ANDREA: A deal is a deal.
ARNOLD: And deals are made to be broken.
Arnold closes the apartment door behind him. Mr Colby is standing in the corridor. Mr Colby is the accountant’s landlord.
MR COLBY (LANDLORD): I hope you’re not bailing out on me Mr Palmer without paying my rent
ARNOLD: Of course not, Mr Colby.
MR COLBY: I don’t care what kind of trouble you are into with these policemen that keep calling but I want my rent paid on time. I have my methods and they always deliver results. Do you understand Mr Palmer?
ARNOLD: Yes Mr Colby