Chapter Four : The Return
Ten years after being admitted into psychiatric care Jake entered Doctor Bochon’s office. It was the four hundred and forty first time that Jake had entered the Psychiatrist’s office. He didn’t want Doctor Bochon however to know that he was counting. Besides, there were several times within the ten years where Jake felt as though he had been suffering an amnesia like side effect. In that ten year period, Jake had been admitted to hospital forty five times and had his medication altered five hundred and fifty eight times.
“How are you today Mr Tomkins?” the Doctor asked
“Well these headaches that I’ve had for the past two weeks seem to be getting worse Doctor, but apart from that I’m fine.”
The truth was that as usual Jake had multiple complaints to make but didn’t want to say anything in case there was a chance he might be released.
“Let me get straight to it, Jake,” the psychiatrist said before pausing for a moment. “The government have brought in new rules about how this facility is run. They want to do everything by committee now, which means that now you will be assessed by three psychiatrists. You’ll also be allowed have a person to represent you. It’s all bureaucratic these days.
Anyway, I’d like you to sign this piece of paper. You don’t have to read it. It just says that you are happy with the way I treated you and that you have no complaints.”
The truth was that Jake had plenty of complaints but he didn’t want to upset the drug-pusher if there was a possibility of him being released.
“I’ve decided that I’m going to reduce your medication. We can’t have you having any more headaches can we?”
Jake was impressed. Dr Bochan seemed to be working on his social skills and showing a greater deal of consideration towards him. For the first time in ten years Jakes optimism for his release was increasing. He couldn’t help but glance into the corner of the room to ensure that nobody else was there. With his blurred vision he wasn’t one hundred per cent sure.
“Now about your release. I don’t think we need to go through all that paperwork and bureaucracy. I am going to sign your release forms and you will be out of here by lunchtime tomorrow.”
Jake did not know whether to laugh or cry. He had been through hell for ten years and now he could see some light at the end of the tunnel.
“That’s great Doctor,” Jake said somewhat cautiously. After ten years he didn’t know for sure whether this was another of the Psychiatrists tests.
“It may take you some time to adjust to the world outside. If you find that any of the symptoms are raising their head once more, you get in touch. Here is my card.”
Jake accepted the card despite the fact that Doctor Bochon was the last person he would call should Jake ever go through difficulties.
Doctor Bochon stood up from behind his desk and shook Jake’s hand. “Goodbye Mr Tomkins and remember to keep taking those tablets.”
Jake also said goodbye. Even when the Doctor was trying to be nice he still seemed arrogant and insulting, Jake thought to himself.
Jake Tomkins zipped up his sports bag. Contained in it were all his worldly possessions. He carried it over his shoulder and closed the door of the room where he had stayed for more than ten years. Jake was now free to leave St Widnes Institution and go home. It was a strange feeling. He didn’t know what to expect.
His wife had stopped visiting him and his son Elliot had not met him in more than ten years. He wasn’t even sure if they remained in the same house all this time. He wondered if they would be happy to see him. This anxiety had played on his mind ever since he was told he could leave.
One of the nurses had a husband with similar size clothes to Jake and had generously donated them. His fashion sense was questionable but Jake was grateful for it. He had been wearing hospital clothes for some time now.
It felt great for Jake to enter the outside world once he left the main entrance. The sky was mostly clear and it was a relatively warm day. There was a smell of freshly cut grass in the air and he could hear the sound of birds chirping and children playing. He had been looking forward to this day for what felt like forever. He told himself that he would appreciate every minute of his freedom for as long as it lasted.
Jake walked for three hundred yards when a car pulled up beside him. The driver of the car rolled down the passenger window. Jake turned around.
“Jake isn’t it?” the dark skinned man addressed him.
“Yes.”
“I’ve just finished my shift. Get in. I can give you a lift.”
The former patient was somewhat puzzled. He did not know who the man was although he did seem quite friendly. It was a long walk home and Jake was grateful for the offer. He opened the door and sat into the passenger seat. Jake suspected that this was the same man whose clothes he was wearing. They both seemed to be color co-ordinated.
“You live on Beech Grove. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes,” Jake replied without giving too much away.
“That’s a long walk, that is. I’m just around the corner from you.”
“How do you know so much about me? I’ve never met you before,” Jake responded out of curiosity despite being impressed by the stranger’s generosity.
“I’m sorry. The names Raymond,” the man replied, offering his hand of friendship. Jake responded in a similar manner and the two men shook hands. “I’m married to Greta. She is a nurse in the institute. She always maintained you were a good patient and very easy to deal with.”
Jake admired Greta. All the nurses were friendly but deep down many of them believed there had to be something wrong with him to be admitted to the institute.
“It’s very kind of you Raymond. I don’t even know if my wife will let me in the door.”
“I’m sure she will. Why wouldn’t she?”
“I could think of a reason,” Jake said in a downbeat manner.
“I myself have been in and out of work for quite a while. I know what it’s like. Its not good for your self esteem but Greta has been very good to me. I was worried about the stress I was putting on her and thought that one day Greta might leave me. She stood by me the whole time. I’m sure Charlotte will too.”
“I don’t think it’s quite the same thing. I’m ten years older. Charlotte has had to provide for Jake for ten years now by herself and I’ve put on a lot of weight lost all of my hair and there are times when I struggle to sleep. I just hope she’s not disappointed. If she takes me back she’ll be getting a raw deal.”
“Don’t worry. Today is a good day,” Raymond reassured him with a smile on his face. “It will be all good. Are you an Eagles fan Jake?”
“Yeah. But I haven’t seen them play in ten years. I don’t even know any of their players anymore.”
“I have tickets for the game on Sunday if you want to go. My son would rather go camping with his friends.”
“To be honest Raymond I’m not in a position to repay you. I need to find a job before I can start to think about watching football matches.”
“You could pay me back later. I could do with the company.”
Jake could see that Raymond was doing his best to raise his spirits. Even though Jake wasn’t on top of the world, Jake appreciated the effort.
“You could sell the ticket and get half your money back.”
“That wouldn’t be much fun, sitting next to a total stranger. You wouldn’t know. I could be seated next to an axe murderer or a serial killer.”
“I’m not exactly your life long pal.”
“You’ll go won’t you? Greta has said a lot of good things about you.”
Ten years ago Jake would have jumped at the opportunity, but now he had no money, no job and didn’t even know the players names. He felt bad that he probably wouldn’t be in a position to repay Raymond for at least three months. He was afraid that he might have to ask Charlotte to pay him and that would definitely be pushing it.
“I’ll think about it. I may no longer have a roof over my head when I get back home.”
“She’s a good sort. She’ll let you in. You’ll see.”
Jake didn’t respond. He was still quite worried about it. He didn’t know how his wife and son would react. Young Elliot could be a totally different person from the young kid he knew. He couldn’t get it out of his mind. He hoped for the best but feared the worst.
As the recently released patient looked out the window, he could see that some buildings in the area had been constructed in the place of old ones. Some once thriving businesses had hit hard times, but in general much of the locality remained the same.
He noticed that Doris Diner was no longer there. He had happy memories of it, whether it was bringing Charlotte on a date or watching Elliot suck up every drop of the Strawberry milkshake he ordered when he was only four years old.
The amusement arcade that Jake had longed to bring his son to, had also vanished. In it’s place was a loud and brash looking shopping mall with red paint and neon lights.
“Have you seen any television in the last ten years? Have you watched any movies or sports or TV programmes?”
“Some I guess.”
“Can’t you remember?”
“A number of us all shared the same TV. The most popular programmes were reality TV programmes. Music and famous people. I haven’t seen a movie, a football or a football match in ten years. I don’t think I’d remember much. Side effects. I went four years with blurred vision and three years with poor hearing. The last ten years of my life are pretty much a haze. I don’t even know who the President is.”
“There’s an election on in November. It looks like a no-brainer. Calahan will beat Westwood hands down. Westwood has been the worst President ever.”
Politics didn’t interest Jake greatly. Raymond however continued to fill him in on the poor decisions that the President made and how Westwood didn’t care about the little man like him.
Jake felt nervous when Raymond’s car pulled up outside his house. The exterior was almost exactly as Jake had remembered it, although it could have done with a lick of paint.
“Thanks very much for the favour Raymond,” Jake said, shaking him by the hand. “I hope to repay the favour one day.”
“Well, if there’s any problem, I just live around the corner. You know where to find me.”
Jake climbed out of the car and closed the door. When Raymond finally drove away the nervousness Jake felt in his stomach failed to subside. Putting one foot in front of the other, he gradually made his way to the front door of his home.
Jake rang the bell.
There was no answer.
He waited before ringing it again.
Eventually he heard footsteps approaching. The door opened and in front of him he saw a young teenage boy. He was smaller and lighter than he would have expected but he did seem friendly and that was most important to Jake.
“Are you Elliot?” he asked.
Elliot instantly realised that the man in front of him was most definitely his Father.
“Dad,” he said aloud, before nervously shaking Jake’s hand.
Jake was delighted to see that his son was happy to see him even if he had gained sixty pounds and looked much older than his years.
“Come on in,” Elliot said welcoming him in.
“It’s great to see you son,” Jake replied. “We have a lot of catching up to do.”
Elliot led his Father into the kitchen where his Mother was preparing dinner.
“Mom,” he said in a happy manner, “Dad is here.”
His Mother did not raise her head from the carrots she was chopping up.
“Elliot, have you done your homework yet.”
“No,” he said sheepishly. “It is Saturday.”
“I don’t care. Get to it.”
Elliot left the room with a hint of disappointment at his Mother’s reaction.
“Hello Charlotte,” Jake addressed his wife apprehensively as he approached her. “How have you been.”
“You have some nerve, showing up here like this,” she said without lifting her head to look at him. “I’ve had to raise Elliot all on my own, simply because you lose your marbles.”
Jake stopped in his tracks five feet away from her. He knew he had to make an effort to reconcile with Charlotte even though he didn’t know exactly where he stood and what her actual attitude towards him was. He was aware that she hadn’t visited him in over two years and that even prior to that she seemed embarrassed to be associated with him. If she didn’t help him now he didn’t know what he was going to do.
“I’m sorry Charlotte. I know it can’t have been easy…”
“Easy?” she said turning to face him in an angry manner with a small knife in her hand. “The best years of my life I’ve spent toiling to try and put Elliot through school and raise him. It certainly wasn’t easy.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry isn’t good enough.”
Jake tried to move closer in an attempt to console her. She didn’t seem like the same Charlotte he had known and been married to for five years. It was as if there was a huge divide between them now.
“Don’t come near me,” she replied
“I’m sorry Charlotte. I’d like to see more of young Elliot. I don’t think it’s going to be good for him if we are fighting.”
“He is your boy after all and he likes you. God knows why after all he went through at school. Kids beating him and taunting him, because of you.”
This was like a knife to Jake’s heart. He didn’t want anyone to endure pain just for being connected to him or for associating with him. He suspected that Elliot, among others would suffer for knowing him but now it was confirmed. Sometimes he wished he could make Elliot’s hurt disappear and make the taunting stop but he couldn’t.
“I’d like to get to know my kid. I’d like to be a good Father. I understand how you feel. I’ll do what I can to help. Can I stay?”
To a certain extent Jake felt like an old dog who was hoping that his owner would pay him some attention.
Charlotte had clearly gone to a great effort to look after Elliot and he admired her for that. She was also still an attractive woman and deep down he believed that the woman he married was still within her.
“I really don’t know anymore. The poor boy has been without a Father for ten years. If I send you away it will break his heart,” she said before thinking the matter over for a second or two. “Only on a day by day basis. We can share portions for dinner. We don’t have much food, but you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”
To Jake, at least the couch was a better alternative than the street. His first meeting with Charlotte had not been perfect but it could have been much worse. He looked forward to getting to know his son and working on his relationship with Charlotte. They were the two most important people in his world and it felt good that he had a second chance with them.
Jake Tomkins had spent two weeks solid looking for a job that he thought might suit him. Previously he had worked in an office and had stints in the construction industry but no one seemed interested in hiring him. His CV had a ten year gap on it that he couldn’t explain. Being a relatively honest man, he refused to tell complete lies about what he had been doing for ten years. He was almost completely demoralised, and if he couldn’t find a job soon he was afraid that Charlotte would throw him outside the house.
Jake had just bought some groceries in the local convenience store before glancing at the notice board on his way out. Most of them were for jobs that no one wanted because they paid less than welfare. One of them was advertising for a job in a warehouse. Jake memorised the contact details and decided to meet his potential employer after dropping off the groceries.
It was ten o’clock in the morning when Jake made a phone call to meet with Harvey Buxtable. The warehouse was only a fifteen minute walk away. Jake agreed to be there by 10:30am.
The sign over the building said Buxtable Merchandising. The building was about sixty metres wide, fifteen metres tall and a hundred metres deep. Jake was greeted by an attractive dark-haired receptionist. Without much delay Mr Buxtable came out of his office and shook Jake’s hand. Jake hated interviews. Normally he was left waiting for quite a while, but not in this case. Also, considering his record he dreaded the questions about his recent past.
The business owner took a look at the way the candidate was dressed. He always thought that if a potential employee was too well dressed, it was an indication that they were unlikely to want to get their hands dirty. Jake was dressed in a black shirt with an open collar, a pair of navy chinos that looked as if they’d seen better days and brown shoes that had been worn for at least four months.
“When can you start?” Harvey asked after they exchanged pleasantries. Mr Buxtable was a tall strongly built man in his mid forties, with thinning brown hair and a pleasant demeanour.
Jake was taken aback. “Mr Buxtable do you not have to ask me some questions first?”
“Ok. Questions… Have you ever gone to jail?”
“No.”
“Have you ever threatened anybody?”
“No.”
“Do you have an AK47 at home?”
“No.”
“Have you ever been a member of a terrorist organisation?
“No.”
“Have you ever streaked naked on a football pitch during a college game?”
“No,” Jake replied. With each question his self esteem was steadily regenerating. He no longer felt worthless and it looked like the job was his for the taking.
“Well, I was kinda hoping you’d say yes to that one. I was only seventeen at the time. Ok well then. When can you start?”
“Anytime to be honest.”
Mr Buxtable and his new employee stood up and slowly turned towards the door of his office.
“The pay isn’t great. It’s better than welfare but frankly we’re understaffed at the moment and we need people yesterday. The job is 8 till 5 with two tea breaks and a lunch break,” the business owner said as he put a hand on Jake’s shoulder and opened the door of his office. “Herb here will show you the ropes.”
Herb was standing in the reception area facing them. He was ten years younger than Jake but he also seemed quite approachable. The new recruit also discovered that Herb had a firm handshake when they greeted each other.
“Follow me,” Herb said, leading Jake from Mr Buxtable’s office into the much cooler warehouse.
The warehouse itself appeared to be quite full with large boxes stacked twelve high and very little unused space that Jake noticed. “Mr Buxtable, didn’t even say what kind of goods you’re dealing in,” Jake said aloud.
“All the best selling drugs,” Herb replied. “You name it we got it.”
“Drugs?” Jake said as if he saw a freight train coming down the tracks.”
Herb didn’t respond.
“Unfortunately all our equipment is out of action including the forklift. Do you see those boxes there,” Herb said pointing to a twenty metre wide by ten metre tall and four metre deep row of boxes. “The first thing that you are going to do is to move those boxes from there, with your own two hands and you’re going to move them over there.” Herb said pointing to a place that was no more than eight metres further to the right. “Unfortunately I’ll be too busy to help you on this occasion. There’s a lot of pen pushing that has to be done.”
Jake was intimidated by the size of the task. He believed it would take at least a month to achieve, without the help of a forklift.
“Don’t forget to put your back into it. The boss wants this done before lunch,” Herb said in a serious manner.
As Jake started to question what he was letting himself into, Herb slapped him on the back. “We’re just messing with you. I will show you how to operate the forklift after I run through our coding system. Under no circumstances are you to move those boxes from there to there. I was just messing with you. We do it to all the newbies, just to see their reaction. We don’t sell drugs. We sell household appliances. Some sell well, others don’t and don’t call Harvey, Mr Buxtable. He prefers Harvey.”
Over the course of the next hour or so Jake was shown the ropes before getting down to work. By the end of the day he felt a lot better. He no longer felt as powerless as he had previously experienced. He now had a job and would no longer be a hindrance to Charlotte. He could contribute to the household finances and looked forward to buying Elliot ice cream or taking him to a ball game at some point in the future.